As dog birthday parties increase, you may find yourself a guest or host of a dog party more often than you ever would have guessed. Here are some tips for being a good host or guest at a dog party.

Etiquette for Dog Party Hosts

If gifts are optional or discouraged, say so in your dog birthday party invitation. Otherwise, guests will expect to bring gifts (which is also cool).

Notify guests of anything that might affect whether they attend or what they allow their dogs to eat. Having a wading pool? Guests who would have had their dogs groomed right before the party will appreciate knowing that. Serving dog snacks or dog birthday cake with flour? Guests whose dogs have wheat allergies may want to avoid those foods, so let them know.

Before the party, send a map and phone number to all guests to help them get to the party easily. If you're holding the party at a facility, provide both your cell phone number and the number of the facility. This is a good time to let guests know that dogs who cannot play safely in a group situation may be asked to leave the party.

Assure that supplies of water and pickup bags are refreshed during the party.

Don't put your guests to work at the party. Sometimes you need help with food, greeting and directing guests, and cleanup. If so, ask a spouse, neighbor or older child to attend for this purpose, so guests can be guests.

As each guest arrives, show them where the water and pickup bags/trash can are. This is a gentle way to ask guests to pick up after their dogs. If you see a mess that has not been cleaned up, just pick it up quietly. Do not attempt to find out whose mess it was.

Post a sign on your door or gate to remind people not to let dogs out, and to be sure gates and doors are securely closed behind them.

Remember that dogs are not people, and do not have the same social codes as people. Dogs do not share. This is why it's best to have party guests feed treats to their dogs, rather than putting food on the ground.

Dog arguments often sound worse than they are. But if there are two dogs that just cannot get along, there are several ways you can handle it, depending on the personalities of the dogs and their owners.

1. If two dogs are getting along with other dogs, but not each other, keep them separated. The owners might be able to call them to opposite ends of the yard, where they can play with dogs who hang out there.

2. If the aggressor is well-behaved in normal circumstances, invite the owner to take that dog to another area for the duration of the party. If there's another dog who gets along with the aggressor, perhaps that dog's owner would be willing to go along for some one-on-one play. If the party's in your back yard, perhaps taking the dog and his playmate inside would help. If you're at a facility, there may be another area that would be suitable.

3. If you have to ask the aggressor to leave, do it kindly. Compliment the dog for being so good around the other dogs for so long. If the party's been going on for about an hour, it would save face for the owner just to call the entire party to a close. Mention that the dogs may be reaching the saturation point with all the stimulation.

4. What if someone arrives and their dog immediately doesn't fit in? It's awkward to invite someone to a party, then tell them they can't stay, but to avoid injuries to other guests, you must. Don't make character judgments or unflattering statements about the dog. A gracious host takes the blame for a dog not fitting into the party group: "I guess this is just too much stimulation for poor Raleigh today. I'm sorry." Thank the dog and owner for coming, give them a goody bag to take with them, and pat the dog to show there are no hard feelings. If you want to, it helps to make a date to meet in a more suitable environment, such as the dog park, to show that you value the dog's (and the owner's) company.

Whatever solution you choose, do not put some of the dogs on leashes when the rest are not. It puts the dogs on leashes at a disadvantage, and that makes them defensive and territorial, which increases aggression.

Thank each guest -- canine and human -- for coming to the party as they arrive and as they leave.

Send thank-you cards to guests who brought gifts, even if a toy ends up being destroyed or taken home by another guest.

If you take pictures, send guests copies of pictures with them or their dogs in the shot.

Etiquette for Party Guests

Pick up after your dog. If you see another dog's mess that has not been cleaned up, pick that up, too.

Bring a gift for the guest of honor. An inexpensive toy or treat is perfectly acceptable. If you make the gift from your dog, sign your name, also ("Happy Birthday, Gus, from Harley and Susan Raymond"). The host may want to know whom to thank for each gift.

Don't be offended if the host accepts your gift, but does not give it to the guest of honor before you leave. She may want to save it for her dog, and this cannot be guaranteed in a group situation. If the gift is a treat, it could start fights to drop it into a group of dogs. Don't get hung up on making sure the guest of honor keeps possession of your gift intended for him or her. It very well may leave the party with another dog who's in love with it. Or it may be shredded within 30 seconds if the party guest are allowed to play with is. Understand dog behavior to keep from being disappointed. Just go with the flow. The point is for everyone to have a good time.

If your dog scraps with another dog, it could be just the natural way they have of figuring out the pecking order. Unless there's real fighting going on, let the dogs sort it out. If your dog is a little intimidated by other dogs following her around or sniffing her, do not pick him up. This only turns him into bait. Let the dogs socialize their own way, and if you feel your dog is in danger, remove him from the group.

Even if you normally share your own food with your dog at home, don't share human food at a party. Other dogs will want some, too, and it could result in a squabble. Plus, other dogs may react badly to rich, sweet human foods. Don't feed anything to another person's dog.

  Next